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Lets suppose you have decided to become an evil villain and build a giant laser, doomsday device or death-ray to threaten governments with or take out your enemies. Where should you build your evil lair and how much is it going to set you back? For that matter how much do giant lasers cost? Is there any way you could get away with it without incurring the wrath of the planets military forces?
Evil Moonbase or Space Station Lair
If you're looking for a cheaper option you could always pick up a second hand space shuttle for
£17.7 Million, Building a new one will cost about
$1.7 billion. Add to that the cost of launching of
$450 Million. Although it's not ideal for long term habitation it would probably do for a quick maniacal plot.
Unfortunately
there are laws in space. Any would-be evil genius' planning to use their death rays from the moon or a space station could be prosecuted in the International Criminal Court even though your crimes weren't committed in any specific country, it is also likely that you would be subject to the laws of your country of nationality (most of whom don't look favourably on doomsday devices).
Start your own country
If you've set your heart on your own island paradise from which to enact your evil plans you have a few options:
- Find an unclaimed island: Unfortunately there aren't any left with the exception of Antarctica which has been declared an international territory and isn't up for grabs.
- Take one by force: Problematic since you're going to need an army to evict the old tenants. This would definitely put you on the UN's naughty list and since you haven't built your death-ray yet this wouldn't be advised.
- Create your own "island", something like an oilrig, sea fort or boat in international waters would work.
If you can pull this off you may still struggle to be recognised by other countries as an independent state, but if you manage it you could possibly claim diplomatic immunity to get away with some of your evil deeds. In most situations diplomats may not be detained or arrested, however they can be arrested in the
interests of protecting human life.
Hollowed out volcano
Surely the "des-res" of any evil villain. Bizarrely there is a real absence of costings for doing this on the net with the exception of
VillainSource, but they want $1 Trillion and that doesn't include the volcano! But they do have an "Add to Cart" option.
Lets assume the volcano you've found is extinct, if it isn't it may cause some building problems further down the line, although your heating costs will be severely reduced and it would open up the possibility of having lava traps or a potential power source for your big laser. The closest thing in terms of construction costs would be a nuclear bunker. Something like the
Burlington Bunker at a bargain cost of £60 million would be great. However costs can go up into the billions for the
Kelvedon Hatch Nuclear Bunker, with an estimated
£1.6 Billion build cost and running costs around £3 million per year. It would make an ideal lair with plenty of room to build that giant laser you've been promising yourself, and while we're on the subject....
Doomsday Devices
- Nothing says "Evil Genius Weaponry" like a huge laser. The Department of Energy in the United States have got one that uses 192 separate beams combined to form a 1.8 Megajoule beam. When focused it generates temperatures of 15 million degrees centigrade. It's reported to have cost them £2 Billion, and is the size of 3 football pitches. For something more portable (like for your space station) The Free Electron Laser is a US Navy laser mounted on a warship and can burn through 2000 feet of steel per second. You could always have a big laser in your secret base on earth and bounce it off a mirrors stationed on satellites in orbit around the earth, allowing you to focus the beam on a target of your choosing. Satellites cost about $9 to $16 million each (based on a fleet of 12).
- For a more conventional weapon with a super-villainy twist why not consider a Rail Gun? Rail Guns use electromagnets to accelerate simple metal projectiles to incredible speeds. One of the biggest is the 32-megajoule Electro-Magnetic Laboratory Rail Gun from BAE Systems. It will let you launch projectiles at up to Mach 8, although you will need a power supply that can provide 3 million amps per shot. In theory rail guns could also be used to launch small craft or satellites into orbit.
- If you're feeling old-school you could always opt for a nuclear missile. The Minuteman III ICBM will set you back $7 Million each. If you're in a Blue-Peter-style DIY mood this website reckons you can make a simple nuclear bomb for between $5,000 and $30,000, although this would only create a pathetic 10 Kiloton blast (if you made it right) compared to the Minuteman's impressive 1.2 Megatons, you get what you pay for with doomsday devices these days.
Henchmen
What good is a villain without henchmen to protect them and scientists to make things work?
- Armed henchmen are a must, prices vary hugely but mercenaries can apparently earn between $100,000 and $300,000 per year.You'll probably need 100 to 200 of them since they seem to get taken out quite quickly based on the movies. They're also going to need some armor @ $1,585 and guns @ $24,000.They'll need some bullets too but considering how much you're spending on other things its hardly a significant cost (about $200 per 1000 rounds). Make sure you get plenty of ammo so your guards can waste most of it shooting just above attacking forces, at railings or chain link fences they are running past.
- You'll need some scientists to make everything work. Nuclear Engineer and Astrophysicist salaries start at about $50,000. You're going to need some top class brains working on your doomsday device so you can double that. A team of 100 "well motivated" scientists should get things up and running in a decent amount of time.
In summary...
Your Evil Villain shopping list so far is:
Space Shuttle to launch orbiting mirror = £17 Million (One careful owner) or £970 Million new
Launching the Shuttle = $450 Million or £273 Million
(Alternatively you could use a railgun to launch the mirrors into orbit)
12 x Satellites @ $16 Million each = $192 Million or £116 Million
Secret Base to scheme and plot from = £1.6 Billion
Running costs for Secret Base = £3 Million per year
Massive Laser = £2 Billion
200 x Armed Henchmen @ $300,000 per year = £36.4 Million per year
200 x Body Armor @ $1,585 each = $317,000 or £192,436
200 x H&K MP5 @ $24,000 each = $4.8 Million or £2.9 Million
100 x Scientists @ $100,000 per year = £6 Million per year
Totals:
Fixed costs approx £5 Billion
Running costs approx £100 Million per year (Allowing for sundries like paperclips, electricity, black leather chairs and long haired white cats)
It sounds a lot but scarily this is well within the range of any of the top 100 people in the
2011 Forbes Rich List